messages&letters.

“How does one avoid loss in the first place? Contrary to popular belief, it’s not attachment that causes loss — attachment feels fine. It’s detachment that hurts. Learn to let go.
Some suggest that to avoid loss, one should never be attached to anything. They give the example of a hand in water: when the hand is removed from the water, the hand leaves no impression. These people say the reason the hand leaves no trace in the water is because the water is not attached to the hand.
On the contrary, while the hand is in the water, it is very attached to the hand. It surrounds it, enfolds it, embraces it. Allow yourself to experience life as fully as water experiences the hand, then let go as completely as water.
Yes, the water leaves a little of itself on the departing hand, as we leave a little of ourselves with the people and things we touch, but for the most part, when it comes time to go, let go.
The hand go no more hold the water than the water could hold the hand. As soon as one “wants” to leave, there is no attachment, because there can be no attachment other than the mutual action of being together. Hand and water both accept the inevitability, and part “clean.”
There is a title for a book on raising children we’ve always liked: Hold Them Very Close, and Let Them Go. This we find good advice for all experiences, whatever they may be: hold them very close, and let them go.
How do you know when it’s time to hold them close? When they’re in front of you (often literally): whatever is the current experience in your awareness, the next event on your schedule. When is it time to let go? When you’re on your way out or they’re on their way out.
Say good-bye, let go, and embrace the new moment.”

“Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it’s personal. And the world won’t end.
And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.” And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking. ”

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them. Words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out but it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away and you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. The worst, I think, is when the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.”

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah Blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all — look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.”

“Envy is when someone walks around with a pocket full of ‘That should’ve been me.’
Insecurity is when you turn up the volume on all the wrong voices.
Hate is what happens when you put a shotgun to the face of understanding and it cowers in the corner.
Courage is ripping your heart from your chest and saying ‘Here, hold on to this for me.’
Truth is everything you tell yourself when you realize you are the only one still paying attention.
Self is whoever you become when the door is locked.
Trust is jumping into someone’s arms and knowing you won’t have to pick yourself up when it’s over.
Love is a tablespoon full of hemlock that I’ve been dying to try.
Faith is doing what you love and watching the bills pay themselves.
Failure is when you talk yourself out of becoming something amazing.
Victory is standing in front of the school bully with no intention to back down and a fist full of irony.
Success is explaining to your mother exactly what you do for a living without feeling ashamed. It’s falling asleep at 2 A.M., waking up at 4 A.M. and going to work with excitement stitched into the fabric of your smile.
Success is a thank you letter from a kid who lives in a city that you’ve never even been to. It’s breaking up a fight between a person and everything that’s telling them they will never be more than what they are.

When I was fourteen, my friend Adam stole a dictionary from his English class. He brought it home and we set it on fire.
Since then, I’ve been defining things for myself.”

“I demand unconditional love and complete freedom. That is why I am terrible.”